The Banker 03

He's on a roll... It's Henry Dale


On The Move We will be moving to Norton in 1 week! Confirmed... ? Confirmed. By all accounts the surface is superior to Goodwin's and the on-site facilities will allow for easier changing and storage.

Time to Train

Training! There has been a noticeable drop off in attendance after some real highs a couple of weeks ago, this is a reminder to turn up and blow off some of that workday steam! Here are my statistically sound reasons to train:

  • Make the most of your subs. If you're paying all that $$$ for a season with Bankers, get your money's worth!

  • It will make you better at hockey. Could you be the next Dave Beckett? No. But you could make a Pony.

  • It's fun. I love nothing more than turning up to have people make fun of my hair/fashion/life choices/hockey ability.

  • It will make you more attractive. Fact.


Some Improvements... ? Bankers have shown that, if nothing else, we're not disheartened by failure. The executive summary for this segment is that we lost a lot but that these were positive losses, our defence not quite as leaky as last week. Without any match reports from the men we'll start with the Ladies, who had a relatively successful weekend. Having lost to Brigg 2s 3-1 on Saturday, the Ladies 3s woke up perishingly early on Sunday morning to make the “nice little drive” to Driffield for a cup game. Despite Driffield being in a higher league than our plucky troupe, Bankers were not to be discouraged. Praying for the rain to hold off, Lost gave the team an optimistic talk given that the 3s had beaten Driffield last year. Driffield had not learnt the lessons of history and so the Ladies stormed through for a well-deserved 2-1 victory.

The real Man of the Match (sorry Amelia) was Driffield for not only losing, but for providing a substantial tea of lasagne and meatballs, acknowledging that this was a simply unacceptable meal for victors, and buying vegetarian pizzas from Dominos. Dreamy. Back to Saturday and the Ladies 2s played Thirsk under the withering gaze of Coach Keys. The girls started well. Keys had shared some of his wisdom and the opposition arrived late without a warm-up, the first half was Banker's to own. Passing and movement off the ball was strong and the ladies played some real hockey against the rough bunch of 13 year olds and their cantankerous mother. The game ended 1-1 with Banker's struggling to convert, though this is a fair result between two teams who are in equal contention for the top 4 spots in their league. (Match awarded 3-0 to Bankers after Thirsk 2s fielded an excluded player) Who is Mata Hari? Fruity is Mata Hari if Mata Hari were to emerge awkwardly from 5 towels all at once. Mata Hari was also executed by firing squad... Sinister. The Ladies 1s played Thirsk 1s in the Battle For Mid-Table in what was a closely contested game. As Fruity reports it Banker's played some tight hockey and looked the better side, but even on the best of days we can be blind-sided by a swift counter-attack, and so it was that the game ended 2-2 with Banker's having to come back from behind twice. Another convincing result for the women.

A brief coverage of the men's games. Simon Yates took his ragtag collection of mainly hockey players to Wakefield and roundly humiliated them by scoring a goal. This achievement is marginally offset by the 7 that Wakefield scored against our Men's 7s but Simon's joie de vivre will persuade you that this was in fact a crushing victory for Bankers. SUBHC Men's 7s 1 – 7 Wakefield 7s.

"JAM" and their equally ragtag collection of mainly hockey players scored an impressive draw with centre of the table Worksop 2s, closing the game at 3 apiece, though did have a goal disallowed which would have secured them the first 3 points... Has anyone seen Spasm lately? At the other end of the table the Men's 5s employed a change of tactics and decided to lose. The algorithms that inhabit the frontal lobe of Rawhide's brain surely have a master plan and will lead the team to victory next week. SUBHC Men's 5s 2 – 3 Barnsley 1s. Juan Moloughney and the 4s had a tough time against City of York 4s, losing 3 – 1, though this shouldn't be an indicator for the rest of the season. The 'legs' in the middle of the pitch were Danjo and Sundown, Sundown not notorious for running particularly fast or far. Meanwhile at home Tom Robb's Barmy Army meditated further on his beard and came to the conclusion that they weren't prepared to let 6 goals in this weekend. Spoiler alert, they still lost. SUBHC Men's 3s 2 – 4 Sheffield Hallam 3s. This was the strongest game of the season yet for the 3s against the toughest opposition, whom they pressed and attacked until the final whistle. The first goal went to Bankers and shook an opposition who aren't used to conceding. It was an even game throughout and it was only a short-corner and an honest misunderstanding in the defence that led to the loss. If the 3s can maintain that level of composure in their coming matches they could escape relegation. Lofty ambitions. The 2s had an equally frustrating experience at Marton Furness, coming home with a 3-2 loss but are looking to build from that and secure a win this weekend. And finally, the Men's 1st team enthusiastically beat Ben Rhydding 1s. In a turn of fortune for all Bankers sides they hit a runaway scoreline and ended the game 5-1. An exciting and positive victory that should encourage them in their forthcoming matches.

The Forecast There are 5 home games for you to feast your eyes on this Saturday! At 10:15 the Men's 7s will clash with Sheffield Hallam in what should be a close game. At 11:45 our Ladies 1s play Halifax 1s, which could prove a challenging match for them. At 13:30 the Men's 2s play North Shields, tough but winnable. At 15:00 the Men's 4s play Airedale 1s, another potentially close game on Goodwin. At 16:30 the Men's 6s play Kingston-Upon-Hull 2s. I'll bring tissues for the tears. (Because it will be the last game EVER played on Goodwin by SUBHC, not because they play 2nd place on the table). Elsewhere in the North of England the Men's 1st team go into a mid-table battle against Wilmslow, the Men's 3s will have a tight game at Slazengers, and closer to home the Men's 5 face an opposite fate to the 6s and play Kingston-Upon-Hull 3s (at Meadowhead). Finally, our other 2 Ladies teams could come home with victories, the 2s play lower-half of the table Skipton and the 3s are in a mid-tableish fight against Slazengers 3s. Good luck to all teams!

Thanks again to the content written by Henry Dale.



© 2018 by Sheffield University Bankers Hockey Club

  • Facebook Social Icon
  • Twitter Social Icon